Whoa !

i really thought i was over it. looks like i'm fucking not. Tonight i can't believe they managed to rile me up like that. course i've always wondered how i would act when i got mad.maybe scream maybe yell....but i didn't....all i did was stew...and get really really pissed.i honestly thought it was over.but obviously not. or are they just trying to stir things up again? Maybe i do have some repressed anger/shame/whatever over what happened, but i did just shrug it off and not think about it. and even when i did....i.felt.nothing. till they came and started this...MINDFUCK.
with their fucking innuendos and them twisting my every word around...
so i thought..maybe...maybe if i just did tell them my side of it maybe that i'd fell better about the whole thing. i did just let it slide of my mind...why is it any of their fucking business anyway?which i did clearly tell them..
"you are pushing it"
"it's none of your business"
"don't ask.."
one part of me didn't want to say anything...the other part wanted justification.
naturally they've only heard one side. does the other really matter? does MY side matter?
why should they even matter?
why couldn't they just LEAVE it at that.
my problems are MINE and the other person's PROBLEM alone. i fucking hate it when the other person starts talking about it to other people. hence it automatically gives them the right to talk to me about it...it doesn't.